GRANDMOTHER CLAUSES–INSIGHTFUL OR INCITEFUL?

Try though I may, I cannot resist responding to this week’s political news-hot-flashes! These latest revelations surely should strike us voters as unfortunately routine occurrences.

Yes–thinking that our government is long overdue to fall into the capable hands of weary post-menopausal ladies wearing pantsuits and who entertain no romantic designs whatsoever upon their youthful male assistants, advisers, and interns other than to “grandmother” those individuals. Anybody with me on this? I advocate that we employ the “grandmother clause”; this proposal may save our democracy. America wins and maintains super-power status adinfinitum or until “kingdom come”–whichever arrives first.

Our current crop of self-absorbed, midlife-crisis-ed male politicians seems an embarrassment in several areas. Many claim to honor “family values” or boast of active, gritty service “around the time” of the Viet Nam conflict (while instead seated at typewriters state-side), or, surprisingly, proclaim ancestral roots buried deep within native soil since Biblical days.

Abandoning judgment calls, gender bias, racial prejudice, and lop-sided party loyalties while also exercising common sense, we ought to survey realistically the “lay” of the land recently.

Gentlemen proliferate in “running for” office regaling us with what we want to hear and by hoodwinking us into believing that they practice what they preach. These fellows stride though election seasons with every JFK hair in place, ties flapping in the breeze, wing-tips shined while simultaneously primed to engage in “running from office” in the inevitable events of sex scandals, MISrepresenting truths rather than representing voters’ wishes, and acceptance of big bucks from special interest groups.

Mick Jagger appearing on the Larry King Show this same week and discussing his jail time for sundry drug addictions seemed a breath of “fresh air” in comparison to our governmental officials’ home-lives repetitively unraveling before our wide-eyed, dropped-jawed, boob-tubed countenances.

Once again, let’s give womanhood half a chance to “Golda Meir” and “Margaret Thatcher” us toward stability, civility, reasonable moral standards, equity and salvation. Hopefully, lobbyists for corporate America do not turn feminine heads, because we would regrettably return to that familiar entanglement of the “world’s oldest profession”.

In this 21st century, my earnest prayer implores that beauty contests, hollow flirtatiousness, naughty jokes, role-playing and subservience ALL evaporate. Instead, ladies, start your intellectual engines! As CNN political correspondent Candy Crowley stated in the midst of this week’s nationally televised primary results, “Politics is a zerosumgame…somebody wins and somebody loses.” Might we cease handing political victories to schmucks who purchase those “plums” and who are packaged for our shallow approval? They win –and we lose.

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